Leadership Success: Breaking the Drama Triangle towards the Winners Triangle
In the world of personal development and interpersonal relationships, understanding the dynamics that govern our interactions can be the key to unlocking healthier, more productive engagements. Two models that offer profound insights into these dynamics are the Drama Triangle (Karpman, 1968) and the Winners Triangle (Choy, 1990). These models are shorthand approaches in the world of Transactional Analysis. Transactional analysis is based on the idea that one's behavior and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life. The drama triangle is a psychological and social model that maps out the dynamics of human interaction in conflict (and is much simpler than Transactional Analysis).
The Drama Triangle finds a particularly compelling stage in leadership, where its roles—Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer—play out in ways that can significantly influence an organisation's culture and effectiveness. Leaders, whether they are aware of it or not, can slip into these roles, setting a tone that permeates throughout the team or organisation, influencing behavior and shaping the work environment in ways that are often not aparrent.
Understanding the Drama Triangle
The Drama Triangle, conceived by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s, is a social model that maps out destructive interactions people can find themselves in. It outlines three roles: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer.
The Victim feels oppressed, helpless, and in need of assistance (not an actual Victim, rather someone feeling or acting like a victim). The Victim role in leadership manifests when leaders feel overwhelmed by external pressures, such as market demands or regular organizational changes, and internal challenges, like team performance issues. Leaders in this position might express a sense of powerlessness or unfairness, deflecting responsibility to others and failing to take decisive action. This can lead to a lack of direction and motivation within the team, as members mirror the leader's passivity and disillusionment.
The Persecutor is seen as the aggressor, critic, or authoritarian figure who pressures or blames the Victim. Leaders who adopt the Persecutor role may do so under the guise of high standards, strict discipline or changing market requirements. They often use criticism or challenge more than encouragement, pushing their teams hard but failing to provide the necessary support or recognition. This approach can create a culture of fear and resentment, where innovation is stifled, and employees feel undervalued and disengaged.
The Rescuer seeks to save the Victim, often enabling their passivity and dependence. Conversely, leaders in the Rescuer role may strive to mitigate conflict and smooth over issues without addressing the root causes. They tend to take on problems themselves rather than empowering their team to find solutions, leading to a dependency that undermines team autonomy and growth. While their intentions might be to create a positive, supportive environment, the outcome can be a team that lacks initiative and resilience, waiting for the leader to provide answers and direction.
The Drama Triangle in The Literary World
To illustrate this in a meaningful way within the world in general you will see many examples of the drama triangle being played out, lets consider some movies and books….
The Devil Wears Prada (Frankel, 2006) and the Drama Triangle:
Victim: Andy Sachs, who feels overwhelmed and mistreated in her role as an assistant.
Persecutor: Miranda Priestly played, Andy's boss, who imposes high expectations and critical judgments.
Rescuer: Nigel, who offers Andy advice and support to navigate her challenging work environment.
The Lion King (Allers & Minkoff, 1994) and the Drama Triangle:
Victim: Simba, who believes he's responsible for his father's death and lives in exile.
Persecutor: Scar, who manipulates and lies to maintain his power over the Pride Lands.
Rescuer: Rafiki and Nala, who initially distract Simba in an effort to reduce his pain (rescuer type). Before helping Simba realize his true potential and encourage him to take back his rightful place as king (thereby acting more as a coach).
The Drama Triangle : A Classic Literary example
Going further, a classic literary example of the Drama Triangle can be found in Charlotte Brontë's "Jane Eyre." The novel presents a rich tapestry of characters who, at various points, embody the roles of Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer within the complex social dynamics of 19th-century England.
Victim: Jane Eyre - Jane's early life is marked by hardship and mistreatment. As an orphan living with her aunt and cousins, she is marginalized and abused, clearly positioned as the Victim. She is sent to Lowood School, where she continues to face harsh conditions.
Persecutor: Aunt Reed and Mr. Brocklehurst - Aunt Reed is Jane's primary Persecutor in her childhood, denying her affection and subjecting her to emotional and psychological abuse. Mr. Brocklehurst, the headmaster of Lowood, further perpetuates this role through his cruel treatment of Jane and the other girls at the school, imposing strict, punitive measures under the guise of piety.
Rescuer: Helen Burns and Miss Temple - Helen Burns, Jane's close friend at Lowood, and Miss Temple, a kind teacher, both serve as Rescuers. Helen provides Jane with emotional support and friendship, teaching her resilience and forgiveness. Miss Temple offers guidance, education, and acts as a moral and intellectual role model for Jane, helping her to navigate and eventually rise above her circumstances.
As the novel progresses, Jane evolves beyond these static roles, illustrating the fluidity of the Drama Triangle. She seeks to break free from the cycle of victimization by asserting her independence and moral principles. For example, when she discovers Mr. Rochester's secret, she refuses to become his mistress, which would have placed her back into a Victim role, albeit under different circumstances. Instead, she chooses to leave Thornfield, demonstrating agency and self-respect.
Jane's relationship with Mr. Rochester also traverses the Drama Triangle. Initially, he could be seen as a Persecutor with his brooding, imposing presence and the secrets he keeps. Yet, he also becomes a Rescuer through his love for Jane and his desire to elevate her from her low social standing. However, Jane's ultimate refusal to be with him under dishonorable conditions and her return to him on her own terms reflect a departure from the Drama Triangle, signifying a relationship built on mutual respect and equality.
"Jane Eyre" is a powerful exploration of the Drama Triangle, showcasing how individuals can transcend these roles through self-awareness, moral integrity, and personal growth.
While these roles offer a temporary escape from discomfort, they perpetuate a cycle of dysfunction and dysregulation, preventing personal growth and fostering dependency. These dynamics can lead to a cycle of blame, dependency, and inaction, where problems persist or escalate, and opportunities for growth and improvement are missed. The Drama Triangle in leadership not only affects individual leaders and their immediate teams but can also influence the wider organizational culture, shaping how conflict is managed, decisions are made, and success is defined and achieved.
Breaking the Drama Triangle - Transitioning to the Winners Triangle and Healthier Relationships
The Winners Triangle was introduced by Acey Choy in 1990 as a model for transforming the negative dynamics of the Drama Triangle into positive, empowering interactions. The Winners Triangle encourages individuals to adopt healthier roles and is a powerful approach for interpersonal success:
The Victim transitions to the Vulnerable position, where they acknowledge their needs and feelings, taking responsibility for their situation without feeling powerless.
The Persecutor becomes the Assertive. Instead of blaming or dominating, the Assertive communicates needs and boundaries respectfully and clearly.
The Rescuer evolves into the Caring or Coaching role, offering support in a coaching manner without taking over the responsibility for others' problems, fostering independence rather than dependence thereby building self-efficacy of the person assuming the victim stance.
The Path to Interpersonal Success, Embracing the Winners Triangle
The shift from the Drama Triangle to the Winners Triangle is not merely a change in behavior but a profound transformation in how individuals perceive themselves and interact with others. Here are steps to facilitate this transition:
Self-Awareness: Recognize when you are playing a role within the Drama Triangle. Awareness is the first step towards change.
Embrace Vulnerability: Allow yourself to express needs and emotions healthily, recognizing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
Practice Assertiveness: Learn to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully, without aggression or passivity.
Foster Genuine Care: Offer support that empowers others to solve their problems, rather than solving problems for them.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Engage in open, honest conversations with trusted individuals who can provide insights into your interactions and progress.
Continuous Learning: Personal development is an ongoing journey. Embrace learning opportunities that help you refine your approach to relationships.
Conclusion
Transitioning from the Drama Triangle to the Winners Triangle represents a shift towards more mature, responsible, and constructive interpersonal interactions. By adopting the roles of the Vulnerable, Assertive, and Caring Coach when finding the drama triangle, individuals can build relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and empowerment. This journey towards interpersonal success not only enhances personal growth but also contributes to healthier, more productive communities and workplaces. As we navigate our relationships, let us strive to embody the principles of the Winners Triangle, fostering environments where everyone can thrive.
As a take-away take a look at your own interactions in a spirit of curiosity, those interactions where emotions run high perhaps? What role are you playing? How can you purposefully shift to the winners triangle?
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Allers, R. and Minkoff, R. (1994) The Lion King. [Film] USA: Walt Disney Pictures.
Brontë, C. (2006) Jane Eyre. Penguin Classics Edition. London: Penguin Books. (though the original was 1847 and published under the pen name of Curver Bell, sadly many female writers of that time found it necessary to adopt male pen names)
Choy, A. (1990) The Winner’s Triangle, Transactional Analysis Journal, 20 (1), pp. 40–46.
Frankel, D. (2006) The Devil Wears Prada. [Film] Directed by David Frankel. USA: 20th Century Fox.
Karpman, S. B. (1968) Fairy Tales and Script Drama Analysis, Transactional Analysis Bulletin, 7 (26), pp. 39–43.
Shmelev, I., 2015. Beyond the drama triangle: The overcoming self. Psychology. Journal of Higher School of Economics, 12(2), pp.133-149.
